Friendship and Holiness

 St. Francis of Assisi

By Fr. Frederick Edlefsen

Though we must love everyone, few can be our “friends.” Friendship and charity (loving everyone) are related. Healthy friendships are charitable, chaste, non-possessive, and freeing. Here are examples of saints who were friends.

St. Francis of Assisi and St. Clare

Clare’s friendship with Francis started during Lent when she was moved by one of his sermons. She sought his spiritual guidance. He encouraged her to join a Benedictine order, which became known as the Poor Ladies of San Damiano. Francis and Clare always encouraged each other to live in simplicity. Clare cared for Francis in his old age. The fruits of their friendship, rooted in love of Christ, live on in the vows taken by men and women religious who have devoted their lives to the Franciscan rule.

St. Bonaventure and St. Thomas Aquinas

St. Bonaventure is said to have been blessed by St. Francis as a baby. He became a Franciscan and met Thomas Aquinas, a Dominican, at the University of Paris. Thomas admired Bonaventure and asked about the books he read. Pointing to a crucifix, Bonaventure said, “This is the source of all my knowledge.” Bonaventure and Thomas were at the top of their class. They died in the same year, and their statues face each other on opposite sides of St. Peter’s Square.

St. King Louis IX and St. Isabelle of France

King Louis IX and his sister Isabelle loved the Church but had different vocations. Louis IX became king at age 13 after his father died and later married Margaret of Provence, with whom he had eleven children. Isabelle turned down two wealthy marriage prospects and became a Franciscan. Louis and Isabelle were mutual friends of St. Bonaventure, who wrote devotions for the King and helped Isabelle write the Rule for her order. Fixed on the love of Christ, these siblings used their nobility for the Church in France.

St. Gregory Nazianzen and St. Basil the Great

Basil and Gregory became friends in “pursuit of learning.” Gregory said, “I was not alone…in my regard for my friend. I knew his irreproachable conduct and the maturity and wisdom of his conversation.” This kind of relationship is often subject to envy. “Yet between us there was no envy. On the contrary…we each looked on the other’s success as his own…. Our great pursuit was to be Christians, to be called Christians.”

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